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The Coaching Habit PDF
The Coaching Habit: A Field Guide to Creating the Change You Want PDF, the companion resource to The Coaching Habit podcast, is a comprehensive guide to achieving success through daily self-coaching. Written by sports psychologist and coach Dr. Michael Gervais, The Coaching Habit combines insights from leading coaches and personalities across many industries who have made their own significant professional changes using self-coaching techniques. This practical book is accessible for all types of readers — whether you’re ready for a career change and need guidance on how to make it happen or are simply looking for new ways to get a better work-life balance.”
I’ve created a simple, concise guide to help you get started as a coach. You won’t need an enormous amount of knowledge or experience. You just need to follow the steps in this book to become a great coach. It’s that simple!
Are you unhappy with your current situation? Do you have a strong desire to take action and do something to change yourself or your life? If yes, this book is for you.
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A step-by-step guide to becoming a better listener, Coach Aaron Brenner shows you how to get more out of every conversation. The Coaching Habit PDF it’s what I use for coaching clients in a 2-hour long sessions
You’re going to be happier and more successful if you can make the change you want. This book tells you how. Discover how to find your own path to success through self-coaching with this interactive book.
In Michael Bungay Stanier’s The Coaching Habit, coaching becomes a regular, informal part of your day so managers and their teams can work less hard and have more impact.
Drawing on years of experience training more than 10,000 busy managers from around the globe in practical, everyday coaching skills, Bungay Stanier reveals how to unlock your peoples’ potential. He unpacks sevenessential coaching questions to demonstrate how–by saying less and asking more–you can develop coaching methods that produce great results.
Get straight to the point in any conversation with The Kickstart Question
Stay on track during any interaction with The Awe Question
Save hours of time for yourself with The Lazy Question, and hours of time for others with The Strategic Question
Get to the heart of any interpersonal or external challenge with The Focus Question and The Foundation Question
Finally ensure others find your coaching as beneficial as you do with The Learning Question
A fresh innovative take on the traditional how-to manual, the book combines insider information with research based in neuroscience and behavioural economics, together with interactive training tools to turnpractical advice into practiced habits. Witty and conversational, The Coaching Habit takes your work–and your workplace–from good to great.
Coaching is an art and it’s far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide and answer, or unleash a solution. giving another person the opportunity to find their own way, make their own mistakes, and create their own wisdom is both brave and vulnerable. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support. And he guides us through the tricky part – how to take this new information and turn it into habits and a daily practice. –Brené Brown, author of Rising Strong and Daring Greatly
Michael Bungay Stanier distills the essentials of coaching to seven core questions. And if you master his simple yet profound technique, you’ll get a two-fer. You’ll provide more effective support to your employeesand co-workers. And you may find that you become the ultimate coach for yourself.
–Daniel H. Pink, author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
What can you do to become a better leader? Michael asks and answers this question by offering aspiring leaders seven thoughtful questions that will change their leadership habits. This book is full of practical,useful and interesting questions, ideas and tools that will guide any leader trying to be better.
–Dave Ulrich, co-author of The Why of Work and The Leadership Code
Michael’s intelligence, wit, articulateness and dedication to the craft of coaching shine forth in this brilliant how-to manual for anyone called to assist others. Even after four decades of my own experience in thisarena, The Coaching Habit has provided me with great takeaways.
–David Allen, author of Getting Things Done
The Coaching Habit is funny, smart, practical, memorable and rounded in currentbehavioural science. I found it highly valuable for my own work and collaborations.
–James Slezak, Executive Director of Strategy, New York Times
The Coaching Habit PDF Book Details
Publisher : Page Two; 1st edition (February 29, 2016)
Language : English
Paperback : 244 pages
ISBN-10 : 0978440749
ISBN-13 : 978-0978440749
Reading age : 18 years and up
Item Weight : 9.6 ounces
Dimensions : 5.24 x 0.64 x 7.55 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #871 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
#2 in Business Mentoring & Coaching (Books)
#3 in Human Resources & Personnel Management (Books)
#24 in Business Management (Books)
About the Author of The Coaching Habit PDF Free Download Book
”Michael Bungay Stanier distills the essentials of coaching to seven core questions. And if you master his simple yet profound technique, you’ll get a twofer. You’ll provide more effective support to your employees and co-workers. And you may find that you become the ultimate coach for yourself.”
– Daniel H. Pink, author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
”It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide an answer or unleash a solution. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support.”
– Brené Brown, author of Rising Strong and Daring Greatly
”This book is full of practical, useful and interesting questions, ideas and tools that will guide any leader trying to be better.”
– Dave Ulrich, co-author of The Why of Work and The Leadership Code
”Michael’s intelligence, wit, articulateness and dedication to the craft of coaching shine forth in this brilliant how-to manual for anyone called to assist others. Even after four decades of my own experience in this arena, The Coaching Habit has provided me with great takeaways.”
– David Allen, author of Getting Things Done
”A sharp, habit-forming leadership manual.”
”Bungay Stanier writes with verve, effectively incorporating humor, surprise, and parables.”
”The book tailors its organization and length to time-pressed readers, who can finish it easily in a couple of hours or in 15-minute increments.”
”The Coaching Habit is a succinct and practical handbook for getting the best from others and yourself.”
– Nir Eyal, author of Hooked
”Concise and compelling”
– Bob Sutton, author of Scaling Up Excellence
”Amid a sea of coaching books that drone on with the same old, overused conceptual frameworks, there is a gem of hope. The Coaching Habit is a treasure trove of practical wisdom that takes a timeless pursuit–to turn every manager into a coach–and breaks it down into a simple set of everyday habits. If you are ready to take your leadership to the next level, you need this book.”
– Jessica Amortegui, Senior Director Learning & Development, Logitech
”There are many coaching books out there that end up on the bookshelf half read. Michael Bungay Stanier’s The Coaching Habit engages you from start to finish. A simple read that is bold and direct, relatable and real, this book will change the way you communicate with colleagues at work and family at home. If you want to read one book on coaching that will resonate with you quickly and that is not overwhelming, choose this one.”
– Johanne McNally Myers, VP Human Resources, Tim Hortons
”Among a plethora of books, studies and op-ed pieces about the importance of coaching and how to execute this most critical of development interventions well, it’s easy to understand why students and practitioners of the craft feel confused or overwhelmed by the array of approaches, frameworks and systems extolled as ”the right way.” Michael Bungay Stanier has expertly cut through this confusion with his new book in a manner that is simple to understand, realistic in its intention and ultimately effective to apply. I believe this book will establish itself as a powerful and useful toolset for the professional coach, the student learner and the people manager alike.”
– Stuart Crabb, Director Learning & Development, Facebook
”This is not just a book; this is the voice in your head, the person that sits on your shoulder–guiding you to greatness. Being a great coach is more than skill; it’s a mindset, a way of being. Michael has a remarkable way of delivering that message through artful storytelling, practical examples and proven techniques. A must-have book for the coach who truly wants to make a difference.”
–Sinéad Condon, Head of Global Performance Enablement, CA Technologies
”Where others can overcomplicate the purpose and practice of coaching, Michael Bungay Stanier provides a practical and unintimidating approach to this essential habit of great leaders. He succinctly articulates the research behind the art of respectful inquiry and its role in fostering an authentic partnership among colleagues who are committed to doing meaningful work together. The Coaching Habit is a thoroughly enjoyable read that immediately inspired me to adopt new habits.”
– Dana Woods, CEO, American Association of Critical-Care Nurses
‘The magic of leadership occurs in daily conversations. With The Coaching Habit, Michael Bungay Stanier gives managers an extremely simple yet powerful tool (just seven questions!) to help them coach their teams to greatness, each and every day.”
– Andrew Collier, Head of Leadership Development, Nestlé
”Fantastic . . . and Where was this book when I needed it?” are the first thoughts popping into my head after reading this book. I ve read countless books on leadership and coaching over my career but few brought it all together like Michael Bungay Stanier’s. I love the concepts of keeping it simple and practice, practice, practice, which are key to building your coaching habit. Michael makes what some leaders see as complex a simple process, whether you are an experienced or new people leader. Definitely a must-read book.”
– Monique Bateman, SVP, TD Bank Group
”The Coaching Habit is the essence of practical coaching for busy managers. No filler, no abstract theory, no tedious stories. Just everyday, practical tools so that you can coach in ten minutes or less.”
– Melissa Daimler, Head of Learning & Organizational Development, Twitter
”Bungay Stanier has it right. We are creatures of habit, and from our habits we create ourselves, our lives and the world around us. The Coaching Habit is a manual for applying the power of habit to the power of coaching to accomplish more with and through others. Do not read this book. Practice it. Apply it. Keep it on your desk and build your coaching habit.”
-Michele Milan, CEO Executive Programs, Rotman School of Management, University of Toronto
About the Author
An autobiography is only to be trusted when it reveals something disgraceful. A man who gives a good account of himself is probably lying, since any life when viewed from the inside is simply a series of defeats. ―George Orwell
Michael was banned from his high school graduation for the balloon incident, was sued by one of his Law School lecturers for defamation, gave himself a concussion digging a hole as a laborer, was fired on his first shift as a garage attendant and has held a number of jobs where he had little or no impact.
Luckily, there’s also been some upside. He is the author of a number of successful books including: End Malaria (which raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for Malaria No More), Do More Great Work, Get Unstuck & Get Going, Great Work Provocations and most recently The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever. He is also the founder and Senior Partner of Box of Crayons (BoxOfCrayons.biz), was the first Canadian Coach of the Year and a Rhodes Scholar.
Box of Crayons is a company that helps organizations around the world do less Good Work and more Great Work. They specialize in giving busy managers the tools so they can coach in 10 minutes or less. They have particular expertise with organizations in the financial, professional service, pharmaceutical and consumer goods market sectors, and particular success with organizations with engaged but overwhelmed employees. Their programs are delivered by a global cadre of program leaders.
Michael speaks regularly to audiences around the world. Highlights include speaking at Google, the HRPA and SHRM conferences, the Rural Women of Manitoba conference and anywhere that’s vaguely warm during wintertime in Toronto, his home.
If I had to pick a person to have dinner with, when I need to be prodded and challenged and inspired to think about the things I really am committed to think about for myself and what I’m doing, I’d pick Michael Bungay Stanier. He has an ability to shake our tree and make us more conscious and responsible about what we know but aren’t willing to admit we know yet. ―David Allen, author of Getting Things Done
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Coaching Habit
Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
By Michael Bungay Stanier
Box of Crayons Press
Copyright © 2016 Michael Bungay Stanier
All rights reserved.
The leadership press has endless articles about it. Assorted gurus suggest that coaching is an essential leadership behaviour. The number of executive coaches seems to be multiplying according to Moore’s Law. Even Dilbert mocks coaching — and there’s no surer sign of mainstream success than that.
Daniel Goleman, the psychologist and journalist who popularized the concept of emotional intelligence, put a stake in the ground more than fifteen years ago in his Harvard Business Review article Leadership That Gets Results. He suggested that there are six essential leadership styles. Coaching was one of them and it was shown to have a markedly positive impact on performance, climate (culture) and the bottom line. At the same time, it was the least-used leadership style. Why? Goleman wrote, Many leaders told us they don’t have the time in this high-pressure economy for the slow and tedious work of teaching people and helping them grow.
And remember, this was in the halcyon days of 2000, when email was still a blessing, not a curse, globalization was just warming up, and we hadn’t yet sold our souls to our smartphones. My experience these days, working with busy managers around the world, tells me that things have, if anything, got worse rather than better. We’re all stretched more thinly than ever. And while coaching is now a more commonly used term, the actual practice of coaching still doesn’t seem to be occurring that often. And when it does, it doesn’t seem to work.
You’ve Probably Already Tried. And Failed.
The odds are you’ve already come across coaching in some form. Research in 2006 from leadership development firm BlessingWhite suggested that 73 percent of managers had some form of coaching training. So far so good. However, it seems it wasn’t very good coaching training. Only 23 percent of people being coached — yes, fewer than one in four — thought that the coaching had a significant impact on their performance or job satisfaction. Ten percent even suggested that the coaching they were getting was having a negative effect. (Can you imagine what it would be like going into those meetings? I look forward to being more confused and less motivated after my coaching session with you.)
So, in summary: You’re probably not getting very effective coaching; and you’re probably not delivering very effective coaching.
My guess is that there are at least three reasons why your first go at developing a coaching habit didn’t stick. The first reason is that the coaching training you got was probably overly theoretical, too complicated, a little boring and divorced from the reality of your busy work life. One of those training sessions, perhaps, where you caught up on your email backlog.
Even if the training was engaging — here’s reason number two — you likely didn’t spend much time figuring out how to translate the new insights into action so you’d do things differently. When you got back to the office, the status quo flexed its impressive muscles, got you in a headlock and soon had you doing things exactly the way you’d done them before.
The third reason is that the seemingly simple behaviour change of giving a little less advice and asking a few more questions is surprisingly difficult. You’ve spent years delivering advice and getting promoted and praised for it. You’re seen to be adding value and you’ve the added bonus of staying in control of the situation. On the other hand, when you’re asking questions, you might feel less certain about whether you’re being useful, the conversation can feel slower and you might feel like you’ve somewhat lost control of the conversation (and indeed you have. That’s called empowering). Put like that, it doesn’t sound like that good an offer.
But It’s Not That Hard. Really.
At my company, Box of Crayons, we’ve trained more than ten thousand busy managers like you in practical coaching skills. Over the years, we’ve come to hold these truths to be self-evident:
• Coaching is simple. In fact, this book’s Seven Essential Questions give you most of what you need.
• You can coach someone in ten minutes or less. And in today’s busy world, you have to be able to coach in ten minutes or less.
• Coaching should be a daily, informal act, not an occasional, formal It’s Coaching Time! event.
• You can build a coaching habit, but only if you understand and use the proven mechanics of building and embedding new habits.
But why bother to change things up? Why would you want to build a coaching habit?
Here’s Why It’s Worth the Effort
The essence of coaching lies in helping others and unlocking their potential. But I’m sure you’re already committed to being helpful, and that hasn’t led to your coaching more often.
So let’s look at why coaching others helps you. It lets you work less hard and have more impact. When you build a coaching habit, you can more easily break out of three vicious circles that plague our workplaces: creating overdependence, getting overwhelmed and becoming disconnected.
Circle #1: Creating Overdependence
You may find that you’ve become part of an overdependent team. There’s a double whammy here. First, you’ve trained your people to become excessively reliant on you, a situation that turns out to be disempowering for them and frustrating for you. And then as an unwelcome bonus, because you’ve been so successful in creating this dependency that you now have too much work to do, you may also have become a bottleneck in the system. Everyone loses momentum and motivation. The more you help your people, the more they seem to need your help. The more they need your help, the more time you spend helping them.
Building a coaching habit will help your team be more self-sufficient by increasing their autonomy and sense of mastery and by reducing your need to jump in, take over and become the bottleneck.
Circle #2: Getting Overwhelmed
You may also be overwhelmed by the quantity of work you have. It doesn’t matter if you’ve mastered all the productivity hacks in the world; the faster you dig, the faster the world keeps flooding in. As you’re pulled in different directions by proliferating priorities, distracted by the relentless ping of email and hustling from meeting to meeting, you lose focus. The more you lose focus, the more overwhelmed you feel. The more overwhelmed you feel, the more you lose focus.
Building a coaching habit will help you regain focus so you and your team can do the work that has real impact and so you can direct your time, energy and resources to solving the challenges that make a difference.
Circle #3: Becoming Disconnected
Finally, you may be disconnected from the work that matters. My previous book Do More Great Work had as its foundation the principle that it’s not enough just to get things done. You have to help people do more of the work that has impact and meaning. The more we do work that has no real purpose, the less engaged and motivated we are. The less engaged we are, the less likely we are to find and create Great Work.
Building a coaching habit will help you and your team reconnect to the work that not only has impact but has meaning as well. Coaching can fuel the courage to step out beyond the comfortable and familiar, can help people learn from their experiences and can literally and metaphorically increase and help fulfil a person’s potential.
So you’re up against the Bind, the Grind and the Resigned. And building a coaching habit is a way of breaking through to a better way of working.
The Seven Essential Questions
At the heart of the book are seven questions that will break you out of these three vicious circles and elevate the way you work. The questions work not only with your direct reports but also with customers, suppliers, colleagues, bosses and even (occasionally and, obviously, with no guarantees offered) spouses and teenage children. These questions have the potential to transform your weekly check-in one-to-ones, your team meetings, your sales meetings and (particularly important) those non-meeting moments when you just bump into someone between scheduled events.
The Kickstart Question is the way to start any conversation in a way that’s both focused and open. The AWE Question — the best coaching question in the world — works as a self-management tool for you, and as a boost for the other six questions here. The Focus Question and the Foundation Question are about getting to the heart of the challenge, so you’ve got your attention on what really matters. The Lazy Question will save you hours, while the Strategic Question will save hours for those you’re working with. And the Learning Question, which pairs with the Kickstart Question to make the Coaching Bookends, will ensure that everyone finds their interactions with you more useful.
Shall We Begin?
Are you ready to go? I’m sure you’re keen to get to the Seven Essential Questions, but before we go there, we’re going to take a short detour into the nitty-gritty of how to change your behaviour. There’s no point in giving you useful tools unless you can put them into action. The next chapter, on the New Habit Formula, helps with that. In it you’ll learn why the starting place for a new habit isn’t the new behaviour after all, why sixty seconds matter so much and how the New Habit Formula can be your engine for focused behaviour change.
Breaking the Ice
A good opening line can make all the difference. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times … A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away … Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
One of the reasons managers don’t coach more often than they do is that they don’t know how to start. There’s that nagging sense that if you could just get going, you’d be fine. But how do you get going? And if you’ve ever felt stuck in a conversation that seemed a little superficial or boring or simply not that useful, then one of these three situations might be at play: the Small Talk Tango, the Ossified Agenda, or the Default Diagnosis.
The Small Talk Tango
Make no mistake, there’s a place for small talk. It’s a way of reconnecting and engaging with a person, of building relationships, of remembering that other people are human and reminding them that you’re human, too. And yet you’ve felt that sinking feeling when you realize that you’ve used up eight of your fifteen allotted minutes talking trivia. Those moments when you think, Seriously, do we always need to discuss that, say, it’s cold and snowing in Canada during the winter? Or that sports team, will they ever get any better? Small talk might be a useful way to warm up, but it’s rarely the bridge that leads to a conversation that matters.
The Ossified Agenda
This situation is commonly found in standing meetings — same time, same people, same place, same agenda. It becomes a dreary recitation of facts and figures, a report that sheds little light and seems to drain energy from the room. The agenda might have been perfect a week, a month or a year ago, but now it’s putting process in front of what really matters.
The Default Diagnosis
There’s no question or conversation about what the issue is. You’re sure you know what it is. Or they’re sure they know what it is. Or maybe you both think you know what it is. And so … bang! You’re off to the races, pursuing something that, if you’re lucky, is approximately-ish the real topic. This response is comfortable and feels like progress because you’re solving something. But you’re in the wrong hole. Digging faster or smarter isn’t going to help.
The Kickstart Question: What’s on Your Mind?
An almost fail-safe way to start a chat that quickly turns into a real conversation is the question, What’s on your mind? It’s something of a Goldilocks question, walking a fine line so it is neither too open and broad nor too narrow and confining.
Because it’s open, it invites people to get to the heart of the matter and share what’s most important to them. You’re not telling them or guiding them. You’re showing them the trust and granting them the autonomy to make the choice for themselves.
And yet the question is focused, too. It’s not an invitation to tell you anything or everything. It’s encouragement to go right away to what’s exciting, what’s provoking anxiety, what’s all-consuming, what’s waking them up at 4 a.m., what’s got their hearts beating fast.
It’s a question that says, Let’s talk about the thing that matters most. It’s a question that dissolves ossified agendas, sidesteps small talk and defeats the default diagnosis.
And once you’ve asked it, you can use a framework I call the 3P model to focus the conversation even further. But before we go on to the 3P model, it’s useful to understand the difference between two types of coaching.
Coaching for Performance vs. Coaching for Development
Some institutions distinguish between coaching for performance and coaching for development. Coaching for performance is about addressing and fixing a specific problem or challenge. It’s putting out the fire or building up the fire or banking the fire. It’s everyday stuff, and it’s important and necessary. Coaching for development is about turning the focus from the issue to the person dealing with the issue, the person who’s managing the fire. This conversation is more rare and significantly more powerful. If I ask you to think back to a time when someone coached you in a way that stuck and made a difference, I’ll bet that it was a coaching-for-development conversation. The focus was on calling you forward to learn, improve and grow, rather than on just getting something sorted out.
The 3P model is a straightforward way to create focus, make the conversation more robust and (when appropriate) shift the focus to the more powerful level that’s coaching for development.
Deepen Focus with the 3Ps
The 3P model is a framework for choosing what to focus on in a coaching conversation — for deciding which aspect of a challenge might be at the heart of a difficulty that the person is working through. A challenge might typically be centred on a project, a person or a pattern of behaviour.
A project is the content of the situation, the stuff that’s being worked on. It’s the easiest place to go to and it will be the most familiar to most of us. We spend our days finding solutions to challenges, and our eyes are almost always on the situation at hand. This realm is where coaching for performance and technical change tends to occur. Often, the art is in knowing how to start here and then seeing whether the conversation would benefit from including one or both of the other two Ps.
Have you ever thought, Work would be easy if it weren’t for all these annoying people? Surely it’s not just me. Certainly, situations are always made more complex when you — in all your imperfect, not-always-rational, messy, biased, hasn’t-fully-obtained-enlightenment glory — have to work with others who, surprisingly, are also imperfect, not always rational, messy, biased, and a few steps short of full wisdom and compassion.
When you’re talking about people, though, you’re not really talking about them. You’re talking about a relationship and, specifically, about what your role is in this relationship that might currently be less than ideal.
Here you’re looking at patterns of behaviour and ways of working that you’d like to change. This area is most likely where coaching-for-development conversations will emerge. They are personal and challenging, and they provide a place where people’s self-knowledge and potential can grow and flourish. And at the moment, these conversations are not nearly common enough in organizations.
It’s not always appropriate to be having a conversation with this focus. Often enough, having only a project-focused conversation is exactly the right thing to do.
The Coaching Habit
Michael Bungay Stanier
. Copyright © 2016 Michael Bungay Stanier. Excerpted by permission of Box of Crayons Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Read lessThe book is divided into various sections which cover different aspects of this subject matter in detail, making it easy for readers to understand what they are reading without having any prior knowledge of the topic at hand. There are also plenty of photographs throughout this book which add value by providing visual representations of what has been written so far on each page, which makes it even easier for readers to understand what they’re looking at while reading through each chapter at home or school! The The Coaching Habit Free Pdf is a great read for those who love information a